Win A Chance To Be At Hitler's Trial!

Last year I interviewed Giovanni di Stefano, aka the Devil's Advocate. Giovanni's a lawyer who is well known for representing some of the world's most evil characters in court, whether they be evil tyrant-dictators like Saddam Hussein, evil cult leaders like Charles Manson, or Gary Glitter. During last year's interview, I wondered aloud if Giovanni would ever consider representing Adolf Hitler. Expecting a long pause or some umming and erring, Giovanni immediately replied, "Yes of course – without question". Now it seems that Giovanni will finally get his wish (sort of).

Last year Giovanni bought several film companies and rolled them into one under the moniker Coralco-S Goldwyn-Eagle Lion Films. One of the first cinematic endeavours on Giovanni's to do list is to shoot a film investigating how the trial of Adolf Hitler may have panned out IF the angry fuhrer hadn't killed himself in a bunker in Berlin in 1945. On Trial: Adolf Hitler will begin with a dramatisation of American troops capturing Hitler in his bunker and transporting him to London to face trial. Over the course of seven episodes, Giovanni will act for the defence (of course) to prove that, in his eyes, Adolf Hitler was completely innocent, as according to him there is no hard evidence or proof that any of the crimes committed by the Nazi regime can be directly linked back to him.

Like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, there will be no script, and the actor who ends up playing Hitler (still TBC) will have to study the guy extensively. The jury will be made up of members of the public and, as it's 1946, everyone will be dressed in period clothing and smoking. According to Giovanni, Lance Ito has been brought in to preside over the case. Lance was the judge on the OJ Simpson trial, meaning Hitler's got a pretty strong chance of getting away with it. Acting for the prosecution will be Mitch Watkins, an attorney who usually oversees death row cases in Georgia. Mitch will apparently be seeking the death penalty.

Although there will be a jury present to give their own verdict, this is a thoroughly modern-day morality exercise, and as such the public will be asked to phone in to give theirs, too. It seems unlikely to me that they're going to let Adolf off, but then I've never seen Giovanni in action.

Giovanni is also planning an episode that will feature the 'what-if' trial of Osama bin Laden. Giovanni claims to have met bin Laden back in 1998, when he was hanging out at a hotel with his old mucker Saddam. Apparently Osama turned up wearing western clothing, had really delicate, feminine hands and spoke a lot about paintings. Again, Giovanni claims there's no hard evidence that Osama actually committed any unspeakable crimes against humanity, though that viewpoint would seem to overlook all those home videos he used to send George Bush in the post.

As Giovanni is a generous chap and for some reason loves Vice, he's offered the first three people to email us the chance to appear as a member of the jury in the film. It'll be like this, only with Hitler instead of Tia Carrere.

Send emails to henry.langston@vice.com and explain why you should be the one to send Hitler either to the chair, or loose, into the wild.

HENRY LANGSTON