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"A few hours later, we found out there was a video," Emerald said this weekend, as several events across New York City marked the one-year anniversary of her father's death on Staten Island."While everybody was distracted," Emerald slipped into another room and looked up the video online, but only made it halfway through before she "couldn't take it anymore." She never watched it again. "It's not something I want to replay because when I listen to video, it sounds like when I used to speak with him on the phone," Emerald told me.The pain was too unbearable.
The video that documented the chokehold that killed Garner and captured the last words he uttered 11 times before losing consciousness—"I can't breathe!"—quickly spread across the internet and sparked outrage nationwide.Still deep in her despair, Emerald was suddenly thrust into the role of a spokesperson. Juggling grief and activism was not—and is not, a year later—an easy task. But the Black Lives Matter movement has helped to mitigate her grief, and allowed her to pay homage to a father she says "always provided for us."Emerald said there were times she hit bottom, wondering, How am I gonna live? … I'm a spectacle now in the media –like, I just want to end it at all. But fighting for justice after her father's death helped her cope."People really take to it when they see strength in a tragedy." –Emerald Garner
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The support that's poured in from across the country and even the world has helped the Garner family heal, and encouraged them to keep fighting. "To actually talk about it and hear the people, hear their responses, all in a positive manner, everybody so supportive, makes it a whole lot easier," Emerald said.Echoing that sentiment while thanking the audience for their support at Saturday's rally, Garner's widow Esaw said, "Y'all keep me empowered to speak… I feel like a flat balloon until I see you. You inflate me, and you make me larger than I could ever be."Emerald told me the main focus of her activism is to push the federal Department of Justice (DOJ) to indict and hold accountable the officers who caused her father's death, but she also plans to use her father's legacy to support other families in the same situation."My vision is to make sure nobody ever forgets Eric Garner and that they know what type of person he was. He was a very giving person, always liked to help people," Emerald said. She hopes to honor that part of him with her work, including with the Eric Garner Foundation, which she says will assist "the families and the victims and the struggles they go through, because living with life after a tragedy like this is very hard."Y'all keep me empowered to speak… I feel like a flat balloon until I see you. You inflate me, and you make me larger than I could ever be." –Esaw Garner
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