Opposing Ontario’s New Sex Ed Curriculum is Not Only Stupid, It’s Dangerous to Children

This article originally appeared on VICE Canada.

A group of Ontario parents is protesting the province's new sex-ed curriculum. "Our children, our choice," they chant, in what comes off as a chilling parody of the feminist war cry "Our bodies our choice!"

These parents, seemingly, are outraged that their children will be learning about consent, different sexual orientations beyond heterosexuality, oral and anal sex, and the proper names for their penises and vaginas.

Thousands of parents are keeping their kids out of school this week. At Thorncliffe Park Public School, only 10 percent of students showed up for class Monday. A Facebook group called Parents & Students on strike: one week no school had 13,810 likes as of the time I filed this.

These parents want what's "best for their kids," but their protesting is actually dangerous and socially irresponsible—at not just for their own kids.

If this new curriculum isn't implemented, there will be countless consequences. If kids aren't taught love and respect for LGBT people, we'll see more relentless bullying, and more teen suicide. If they're not taught consent, we'll see them grow up to rape and sexually assault one another. And if they're not taught accurate, normalized information about pleasure, teen pregnancies and STI rates will soar, too.

Slut shaming will continue to run rampant because children won't know any better.

The curriculum hasn't changed since the 90s. A similar update was supposed to be implemented in 2010, but protesting parents stopped that from happening, choosing instead to shroud their kids from fact.

Toronto's most infamous Jane Doe says early, accurate sexual education is one of the only ways to reduce the rate of rape and sexual assault in the future. Doe is a sex educator and sexual assault author, lecturer, and activist.

She is also the successful litigant in Jane Doe v. Metropolitan Toronto (Municipality) Commissioners of Police. In the late 80s, a serial rapist was attacking women of a particular appearance in her neighborhood. He crawled in her window and raped her. Police wouldn't issue a warning, so she teamed up with other women, postered the neighborhood, and caught him herself. Then she sued police for negligence.

"Moral or religious responses to sex and sexual violence don't work in the best interest of our children," she says. "It's simply not acceptable for those responses to decide what's happening in any school curriculum, particularly around sex education." Kids, she says, need to be taught about consent and that they are in control of their own bodies.

"I think we should start using that language and teaching sex ed at the age of three. After that it's getting too late."

After that age, she says, children's ideas of sex and gender performance start to be influenced by social media, TV, and movies. Little girls learn to be passive and little boys learn to be aggressive. (LGBT kids learn that they should expect to be represented badly, or not at all).

As Does says, these toxic ideas of masculinity and femininity "are very strict and confined, and enforce behaviors that contribute to sexual violence."

If Grade 2 is too young for kids to learn about consent, then when? These lessons need to be in place as preventative measures, not redundantly trotted out in high school when kids are already having sex and know more about it than their teachers.

"[Kids] are having sex at younger ages. We've crossed that bridge," Doe says. "Parents don't know what's going on with their children. Kids don't talk to their parents about sex. Why would they, if parents are uncomfortable, turn their backs, and refuse to talk about sex?"

These parents are attempting to shield their children from learning that cunnilingus is a thing, and meanwhile, kids are already having sex at age nine, at least in major cities in the US. And in Canada, about 40,000 young people with uteruses become pregnant each year. About half have abortions, and half give birth. You're not going to stop your kid from having sex if they want to have sex.

Religion has a lot to do with parents' hesitation around the new curriculum. Followers of Abrahamic religions don't generally want their offspring having premarital sex. And happily, we live in a country that, at least theoretically, respects everyone's right to choose their god/dess and worship him or her as they see fit.

It's important, then, to recognize where these parents are coming from. Many of them truly believe that premarital sex is a sin, and that their child could go to hell for engaging in it. Couple those sincerely held beliefs with the very real risk of pregnancy and STIs, and it's no wonder parents are scared.

But schools are run by the state, and there is a clear separation between the church and the state in Canada. The Charter-held freedom of religion applies only insofar as it doesn't trump someone else's right to life, liberty, and security of person. Standing in the way of children's education on the existence of queer people and the necessity of consent tramples other people's rights. Bullying can make queer kids' lives miserable and can push them to end their lives. If kids don't know about consent, they grow up to be adults who don't know about consent, and rape one another as a result. Then, your so-called freedom of religion becomes someone else's serious oppression. How many more rapes and teen suicides can we afford?

Doe is concerned about the totalitarian nature of parenting right now, especially parenting driven by religious doctrine.

"[These parents] believe that they own the child and get to control all of the information around them, when nothing could be further from the truth."

Perhaps the most alarming aspect of these protests is that parents don't have their facts straight. Those who think that what is "best" for their unique snowflake child should dominate other children's right to learn factual information really need to take a deep breath and read the curriculum before they run out into the streets protesting.

Premier Kathleen Wynne doesn't seem to be backing down, despite parents' insistence. The government says the new curriculum is going to be implemented this fall.

Protesting parents, I beg you: you need to rethink what is "best for" your children, and if not, you need to think about all children.

Another kid's life could be lost because you don't want your kid to know that LGBT people exist and are worthy of love and respect. A kid—maybe your own precious kid—could be raped because you don't want your kid to understand the importance of consent.

If this isn't enough to convince you that your child won't be harmed by sex ed, maybe you should consider quitting your job and home schooling them. But make sure you keep them quarantined so their ignorance doesn't infiltrate the rest of us.

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