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Nothing demands such crisp attention as this semi-historically accurate, civilization-building computer game. Everything matters, from where you build your market to how many Janissaries you train before your first attack. Once you click start, the absorption is deeper than orgasm.The first step to overcoming addiction is admitting you have a problem. For me, the revelation was double. First, that I was obsessed with playing Age of Empires III. Second, that I hated myself for having this obsession. What was hurting me was not playing the computer game, but the pressure I put on myself not to play the computer game.I began to study my habits and investigate my addiction.Article continues after the video belowFirst discovery: Age of Empires is both a stimulant and a depressantIn the morning I played to pump myself up. I focused my mind on a simple and captivating task: raising an army of grenadiers and destroying the French. This made me feel like I'd achieved something, even if I wasted the rest of the day.At night, fighting despondency, I nursed my laptop on my knees and watched my field guns blow away the computer's Spanish infantry along with my bone-aching loneliness.Second discovery: It is a silent, versatile, and continually accessible drugIt's hard to shoot heroin in a library. But the Age of Empires junkie can play anywhere, any time. All you do is get out your needle (laptop), cook up some shit (train hussars), and wash your mind in numbing escapism (slaughter longbowmen).New on Motherboard: The World's First Water-Cooled Laptop Looks Like a Bad Idea, But Here We Are
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My first two discoveries highlighted how easy it was for me to maintain my addiction, while the third was the key to my recovery. I was feeling powerless and I wanted to feel powerful. I was living in a new country, with no friends, a fractured relationship, and no job to distract me from all of that, provide me with money, or offer me a social role to play.Drugs and alcohol were no good to me because they only made my gloomy situation heart-achingly clearer. I needed something that forced holistic concentration; I needed escapism that made me forget about lunch and the fact I had no new messages.New on Munchies: Apparently Cornish Pasties Aren't Actually from Cornwall