Brett Gelman
The October War
I’m working on a little personal film about the October War. I need to say something about my people’s persecution. What a mess it is over there. Such a happy little place surrounded by nothing but enemies. Haven’t we gone through enough already?!
Dirty Laundry
This one’s difficult. Used to be my best friend. My mentor, really. Taught me everything I know about the business. Helped me get my first assistant’s job with Billy Wilder. Then the white dragon set him on fire. And before I knew it, I was his own...
White Lie/Black Fly
Goddamn method actors. I hired one to do this sci-fi flick I’m producing called "White Lie/Black Fly." The crew tells me the actress has been crawling up walls, jumping on people, and even eating caca. She’s gotta tone it down or we’re going to have 5...
Jarble Jerble
The ganef has the chutzpah to belt me in the face. He lays me back in my stunned state and tries to shove the pool net up my tukhus. I tighten my hole like it’s holding onto a hundred-dollar bill.
Make the Book Cook
I mean what I say, and I say what I mean. That’s the way you really rise to the top.
Smart as a Rabbi
I’ve seen dead bodies before, but this is going to be rough. This one is going to sting right where my foreskin used to be.
That's Tokyo Town
He might have the glow of a Nazi, but he hates himself just like a good Jewish boy should.
The Reality TV KKK
Why do we give her our necks? Is it because we smell it? Is it because we secretly dream of it? Is it because of our shame?
Human Tragedy
What is human tragedy? How often does human tragedy happen? That's a simple question with a not so simple answer.
Left Stand Up!
As someone who is more liberal, I think liberals need to be less open. I know that's part of what it means to be liberal, but that trait can no longer be a part of our makeup.
Jesus/Hitler
We are the new Germans. Meaning the new Nazis. However, instead of Hitler, we have Jesus. We burn books for him. We kill for him. If Hitler met Jesus he'd probably try to hang out with him.