brian moylan
Hey Straight People, You're Using Sex Drugs Wrong
The continued acceptance of homosexual men and lesbians by mainstream America means that some of the wonderful things that were kept in the darker nooks and crannies of the gay world are now seeing the light of day.
What Your Underwear Says About You
Congratulations, you have convinced some poor fool to come back to your house from a bar/party/awkward OKCupid date and tricked them into thinking it's a good idea to have sex with you. While we all know dick size is really the only thing that matters...
How to Quit Porn and Not Entirely Ruin Your Life
There I was, lying in bed ass-naked at 1 AM on a Tuesday night with my eyes closed pulling on my limp dick like a bird trying to get a worm out of the frozen ground. This is what jerking off had become for me. I never should have given up porn.
Why I Think Fashion Week Is Stupid
It's like a bunch of carnival barkers luring you into a freak show, but the Siamese twins aren't Siamese at all, it's just two bitches shoved in the same dress.
Posing as a Gay Republican at the RNC Will Get You Laid
Getting gay laid at the RNC is easy. All you have to do is keep a straight face while saying you voted for John McCain in the last election and you'll be getting your salad tossed faster than Paul Ryan will decimate Medicare.
How to Punch Out a Paparazzo
Socking a pap isn’t that hard. You too can be immortalized for punching some guy trying to take a photo of you, just like Sean Penn, Kanye West, Quentin Tarantino, and Chris Martin, by following these five easy steps.
This Gay Indie Sex Movie Isn't Really Porn, Even Though It Kind of Is
Travis Matthews' new movie depicts the gay creative class in San Francisco complete with light sweaters, thrift stores, regrettable tattoos, yearning to be a performance artist, and lots of angsty discussions about relationships. Oh, and there are...
How to Jerk Off at Work
No matter how much you love your job, there are still a million things that you would rather be doing than wasting away in a cube, deleting countless emails. Know what you would rather be doing? Sitting at home in your underwear and watching Judge Judy...
What Your Sandals Say About You
Your feet smell like Chris Christie's taint. Just put some shoes on, you lazy asshole.
Erotic Hypnosis Gave Me the Most Intense Orgasm of My Life
Based on looks, you wouldn't think Neil, a former IT guy, makes his living giving people the most mind-bending, dick-splitting orgasms found anywhere on the planet.
The VICE Guide to Bad Celebrity Plastic Surgery
How to tell exactly what the fuck famous people have done to themselves!