Who Cares About Halloween When The World Is Terrifying?

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So today is Halloween, a date when Australians make believe $15 pumpkins are in season and pretend to be fat American children. Before it became about pressuring your mates to have a house party and cherry picking traditions from overseas, Halloween was a time to dress up and try and scare away bad spirits. Which obviously makes zero sense but people were super dumb in the olden days and things were mad boring before the internet.

The thing is, we don't all need to dress up as slightly over-sexualised Carries to spook each other out. The world is a terrifying, blood-curdling, pants-pissing place already, as evidenced in the following videos.

The Real True Detective

True Detective was obviously pretty unsettling viewing, but the fact it was at least partially based on real police reports is more upsetting that watching what happens when Matthew Mcconaughey actually reads a script before committing to a project.

Venom Superman

The scariest things ever are snakes, people who don't age-aka vampires-and dudes over 40 who dress like skaters. Steve Ludwin, who injects himself with snake venom in the quest for supernatural abilities, is therefore a real-life halloween dream.

The Dog Hunter

It is a straight out travesty that people aren't more into Ozploitation movies. Everyone lost their mind about Wolf Creek but Australians have been prowling around the bush freaking out city kids for generations. We're the best in the world at it. Well, Tom Varney the Dog Hunter is.

The Swiftest Pidgeon

When I was seven I watched The Birds with my brother, and I haven't looked at a seagull without imagining it pecking out my eyes since. Birds are major creeps. But despite them being tiny murderers who are just killing time before they taste your blood, China's rich kids can't get enough of pigeon racing.

The Fight Against Ebola

With 3,000 cases of infection, half of them being fatal, there isn't really much more you can say about an epidemic that liquefies your insides and shuts down refugee movement around the world. Maybe think twice before making it your super-hilarious party costume.

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