Articles by Chris Nieratko
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Skateboarding's Most Violent Team Manager Has Mellowed Out
Deluxe Distribution's Mic-e Reyes has never kicked anyone off his team for smoking pot, but he has kicked a lot of ass over the years. Full story
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Belladonna's Dick Sauce (Animal Style)
My eyes are currently bleeding semen. Each moment they remain open, it feels like vats of acid are being poured into my retinas. The excruciating pain is a direct result of watching porn for the past 12 hours straight. Full story
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Gimme a Fucking Break #4
Despite flunking out of six of the most prestigious institutions of higher learning in New Jersey in less than three years, I never got to experience the crazy beach rompfest marinated in cheap beer that is spring break. Full story
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Patrick O’Dell’s Skateboard High School
Patrick O’Dell is having an art show called 'Skateboard High School' tonight at LA’s Known Gallery. I wish I were flying to LA this weekend so I could see it, but I'm not, so instead I made him send me a copy of the limited-edition book from the show and emailed him some question… Full story
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Finally, a Kids' Book for Cannibals
If you’re a cannibal with lofty aspirations about becoming a part of high society, Jen Uman has the perfect book for you and your children. Full story
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Fat, Sick, and Nearly Divorced
It was bound to happen. Chris Nieratko’s wife is leaving him for juicing, so he’s offering up these photos and videos of her for you to pleasure yourself to. Full story
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Bitches in Uniform
Much like the modern-day hipster with soft hands and manicured nails and the garb of a longshoreman, skateboarders appropriated the style of blue-collar workers two decades ago. Full story
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Hip-Hop Isn’t Dead, It’s Just Repackaged
Skateboarding ruined hip-hop and Lil Wayne sucks but at least we have our CDs and cassettes from the 90s to drown our sorrows. Full story
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Welcome to the Twin Zone
The longest period of time the ATL Twins have spent apart has been six hours when Sidney was locked up for a DUI. Otherwise they are always together, with the exception of a few minutes here and there to shit, shave, and shower. Full story
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The Wonderful Sieben of Oz
I love it when our friends become famous, especially when those friends come from the skateboarding world. So you can imagine how my heart sang when I heard that our very own columnist, Michael Sieben, had been tapped to give his visual interpretation of 'The Wizard of Oz.' Full story