Articles by Gregory Pike
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March 2013's Hosers of the Month
Because we have fewer guns, free healthcare, and good manners, Canadians like to think that they’re more civilized than Americans. But on the regular, our polar bear riding, snowmobile crashing, maple syrup-chugging tendencies overtake us, and we are exposed for the hosers that w… Full story
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Montreal's St. Patrick's Day Parade... On Acid!
Montreal’s Saint Patrick’s Day parade is the oldest celebration of Irish drunkenness in Canada As if wandering the unpredictable and potentially volatile crowds wasn’t scary enough, our friend Taylor decided to crank it up a notch by dropping acid. Full story
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Stop Whining: Fighting Is a Crucial Part of Professional Hockey
On Monday we had a writer talking about how fighting in the NHL is a "disgrace to the game and to Canada." Well, Gregory Pike strongly fucking disagrees. Full story
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Now You Can Tweet and Send Facebook Messages After You’re Dead
Post-mortem social media is the new cryogenics. Full story
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Stompin' Tom Connors Was Punk as Fuck
Yesterday we brought you a song-by-song overview of Stompin' Tom's Canada. Today, Gregory Pike let's you all know why Stompin' Tom Connors was (and will always be) punk as fuck. Full story
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Noisey Premiere: Homeshake - Don't Try
Mac Demarco's guitarist has a brand new band called Homeshake, and we're premiering their video for "Don't Try." It's full of porny Thai ladies. Full story
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Dean Kamen—Inventor of the Segway—Made a Bulimia Machine
The brilliant mind who brought us the Segway, a device aimed at eliminating walking, is back to show us how to remove the annoying process of digestion from our everyday lives. Just plug a tube into your "Skin Port," and let this incredibly stupid machine do the rest! Full story
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The NHL Lockout Is Finally Over: Time to Start Hating on the Leafs Again
Hockey season, a.k.a. hating season, starts right back up again this Saturday. To celebrate, we brought in Greg, our resident Quebecer hockey nut, to tell you why the Toronto Maple Leafs really suck. Full story
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Kayla Bourque— Vancouver's Cutest Psychopath— Is Now a Free Woman
A young lady who disemboweled her dog, killed her cat, and dreams of murdering hobos is now back in society. Full story
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The 2012 Canadian Hoser of the Year Awards
An ode to hosers, Canada's most important citizens, and a full year of their hijinks. Full story