How to Best Handle Being a Homeless Person
See me there on the curb, without a sad sandwich or anything?
Let me preface this by saying, I've been transitory most of my life, but prior to today I haven't actually been homeless. I never went through a train-hopping phase, squatted in a hovel, slept in parks (intentionally) or did whatever it is that the kids are doing now. I have, however, packed up my things every couple of months, or had to move every few years; that's the double-edged sword of having a father in the military. You get to travel and see the world, but you're left with an inability to truly get close to anyone, a sense of restlessness, and are constantly trying to find a place that you can truly call home. Which is why being forcibly evacuated from my apartment this morning was really fucking awesome. I woke up to the sound of both NYPD and FDNY knocking on my bedroom door. I didn't respond because I thought it was my super, I haven't paid my rent yet (whoops!), and I think anything before 9AM is an ungodly hour.
It wasn't until I had my roommate forcibly shake me awake that I realized something was going on. Let me tell you, if the dude you're living with has Aspergers and is telling you that something is going down, you listen. So I hopped in the shower, threw on the nearest, cleanest t-shirt, packed a small bag with my toothbrush, laptop, cell phone and chargers, and then proceeded to have one of the shittiest days of my life. And because I like paying things forward, and I possibly can't accept any more bad karma in my life right now-- I'm gonna give you some tips on how to navigate your way out of this and/or help avoid falling into my current situation which is squatting on a couch in Bushwick.
Oh, and if anyone says "These things happen for a reason," I give you full license to punch them in the nose. Seriously, fuck those guys.
What's the big deal? Everyone finds themselves in this position once in a while.
A rundown of some of America's incarceration investors.
The Israeli police force still isn't warming to Palestinian protesters.
First and foremost, let me say that butch gay guys are the hottest men on Earth. Period.
A truly bizarre and tragic twist to the "homefree" tale.