If You Could Be Anyone Else For the Day, Who Would it Be?

We all have moments dictated by those thoughts that we like to think are existential and profound, but are actually just complete bullshit. Thoughts like 'would I enjoy life in an Amazonian tribe if I was born into it?' or 'if I was Justin Lee Collins, would I be less of a controlling weirdo?' Thoughts that we'll never be able to realise because transfiguration and body morphing isn't a real thing.

Although, if it was, and you could be anyone else for the day, who would it be?

Nig, 41, carpenter: I’d like to be Fry from Futurama, because he gets to hang out with a robot.

VICE: You could bang the sexy cyclops with one eye, too.
Oh yeah. Yeah, Leela’s cool. That would be really, really hot, actually. I'd like a robot best friend and a hot, one-eyed chick for a girlfriend. Take me to the future now! Zap me now!

John, 54, sales assistant and an anonymous man who didn't want to be photographed, 60, unemployed. 

Anon: A raving poof.

Why’s that?
Just because. No reason, really.

OK, but the sooner you accept that true reason, the more liberated you'll be. How about yourself?  
John: I'd be Richard Branson, ‘cause he doesn’t have to answer to anybody and he’s got millions. I’d leave England straight away and travel around the world until I die. And I'd bring this raving poof with me.

Can we take a photo of you both?
Yeah.
Anon: You do know you’re wanted by the police, don’t ya?
John: Yeah! [laughs].

Wow, OK. I'm sorry if this photograph aids your arrest, John.

Viva, 24, student: I'd be the chief of London, I think. What's that called?

The mayor? 
Yes, the mayor! His name is Boris Johnson. I’ve lived here for a week and heard a lot about him. He’s a funny guy. I'd be as funny as him.

Radovan, “as old as the bible”, artist: I wouldn't want to be anyone other than myself. It’s wonderful being yourself.

Ah, that’s nice.
It’s wonderful when you have the opportunity to be yourself. If you don’t have that, then that’s very bad. I do like some things about other people, but I want to carry on being myself.

Are you religious, by any chance?
I’m not practising, but I am religious. I'm a follower of any religion – all the religions, actually. Basically, there the Ten Commandments are always there and they're the basis of being, so I'm religious in every single way but I don't practise religion/.

Um, OK.

Katie, 26, unemployed (left), Tarah, 23, sales assistant (centre) and Lachie, 27, advertising.

Lachie: Arnold Schwarzenegger, because he’s in movies and he was the governor. I love The Expendables 2. I wouldn’t want to look like him, though.

That's kind of part and parcel of being him, I'm afraid. What would you do for the day?
I’d hang out with the cast of The Expendables.
Katie: I'd defnitely be Lindsay Lohan so I could get away with partying like a dickhead.

Can’t you do that anyway?
Yeah, but I’d do it with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I'd party with Arnold, get blind-drunk and be driven everywhere, but no one would give a shit about me because I'd be Lindsay Lohan. I wouldn't ever have to work, I could just party the whole time. 
Tarah: I’d be David Attenborough. That way I’d know all about nature.

Leon, 21, student (left) and Harvey, 21, student.

Harvey: Myself. I’ve always liked being myself. I do what I want to do; every time I feel like doing something, I do it. For example, I’ve always liked tattoos, so I became a tattoo artist myself a few years ago.

That's inspiring. What about you?
Leon: My earliest ever ancestor. I’d want to be a barbarian. I’d have a club and I’d club shit.

That's better.

Previously - Would You Rather Live in a Fascist Nation or Complete Anarchy?