Adam White
Chicago Is a Paradise
Winters in Chicago are too cold and too long for its people to survive without getting fucked up all the time. Similarly, the summers in Illinois are so painfully short that living there means you have to squeeze all of your outdoor fun and debauchery...
Scientists are cuties
People always talk about how Asian culture respects the elderly so much more than westeners do.
I bloody knew it all along: my old teacher is the devil
One time I was running through the playground while it was raining, I slipped and skidded through the puddles, grating the skin from my legs as I went.
Let's hope God isn't there
Is it possible that this shitblot of a planet has come up with something even more tired and suburban than burlesque?